Greased Gerbil

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Greased Gerbil (genus: Gerbilus Rectum Cuntox Lubricus), born 15 January 1981, is a Distorted View Sideshow member from Albury, Australia. A listener since 2005, Gerbil opted to pay a monthly membership fee for Sideshow content after he conceded that there was no practicable way to "still it". He is also a frequent poster on the soon to be replaced Distorted View Message boards.

Greased Gerbil is a long time friend of fellow Freak Milky Discharge.

Freakatory Beliefs

Greased Gerbil is a devout supporter of the Henson '08 Campaign. However, as is the case with most Freaks, he is far too much of a tight-ass scrooge to donate anything. Choosing instead to dedicate much of his financial capacity to developing effective disguises, in order to continue evading capture for the habitual rape of teenage girls.

Gerbil was also the instigator of the Henson '08 campaign policy "Conscription Limited to African Americans". Rather than use proper channels, Gerbil simply forced the policy into the campaign by placing it on Tim Henson's wikipedia page.

Academic Endevours

As an integral component of his Doctoral thesis, Gerbil is using the latest technology at his disposal (some of which is on loan from M.I.T.) to connect similarities between confectionery and non-consensual intercourse. Originally, a lottery was to be held to select participants. However, it was considered blatantly obvious that Black participants were highly unlikely to be chosen under the format of a "Lottery". The format was retained unchanged but renamed a "Draft"; as a result a vast majority of Black participants were chosen.

Due for completion in 2011, the thesis will be published under the title "Rape is like candy: An Ethical Control Study of High-School Girls". The publication will be fully endorsed by The Ferret Academy.

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